Painting my reflection on a starless night

by Katie MacFarlane
(San Diego , Ca.)

Painting my reflection on a starless night

I live upstairs where the heat rises in my house ...to extremely HOT. I wanted to paint, but turning on the lights seemed to make the room 10 degrees hotter.

So, I painted an old Ikea mini mirror I bought in college. I used a pencil for the swirling and, and used the only acrylics that weren't ruined by the mildewed closet I store them in, and just started swirling colors around.

I couldn't see anything of what I was actually doing. I had covered the mirror with paper and tape a long time ago to paint it some blah bland boring one toned color for my room . But, I am not bland at all. I had painted it bland to try to blend in, and I realized I'm trying to be something I don't want to be.

When, my father passed away, I moved upstairs to what was once my parents' room, and the place is full of mirrors. For some reason, even as an adult, I was/am scared of mirrors. I often cover them up or flip my closet doors around so I don't get frightened of the "Looking Glass " . I think it's because my eyes blue with yellow specks in them...and my ears ...look like I'm staring at my father ....someone I want to be like at times, and sometimes scared I am like him too.

By painting my own mirror....a small one, I thought I wouldn't be so scared of what I was seeing when I looked into it. Maybe if it was painted and was "busy" enough with colors, with the same colors of my eyes...my fathers' eyes...I wouldn't be so scared of what was staring back at me.

In 4th grade my first love of a well known art piece was The Starry Night. I fell in love with it, and would stare off in class at The Starry Night...wishing I could just jump in the painting like Marry Poppins did. Later, I was diagnosed with ADD, so that must have been why I was having problems paying attention...but I really think I just have selective attention ...I guess no one could believe that maybe I just loved something so much I didn't want to concentrate on anything else.

When I painted this in my own Starry Night ...I guess, subconsciously ...I went back in time , and tried to jump into my favorite painting by Van Gogh . When I was done, I grabbed my phone and the flash brought my painting to light.

Now, I can look into the mirror, and see my non-bland, imperfect self...and now I like the reflection I see. I remembered my love and passion from when I was 9 years old. Everytime I feel lost, I can look into that mirror and remember a time when I loved something so much, much like my Father...I finally jumped into the painting.

Side note: I only have my android phone to take a picture of it....and it turns out , taking pictures of mirrors is harder than painting on them. Sorry for bad photo quality.

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